“my time has come."
fuck summer i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october
okay so imagine an au where the potters live. harry dates oliver wood briefly. james hears of this and pulls harry aside. stares him in the eye with a deadly serious face
“he’s a Keeper”
You made an entire AU that would alter almost every facet of that series
For a pun
You’re a beautiful person.
"Are you serious right now, Dad?"
"No, I’m not serious. I’m Dad. He’s Sirius."
“You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil.”
- [MSG:] Someone just came into my dorm, totally naked, ate all my Cheeze-Its, ruffled my hair, and left. No explanation.
- [MSG:] Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM for a lecture.
- [MSG:] NEXT TIME PUT A SOCK ON THE DOOR
- [MSG:] Mom just called and I was mid bong hit.
- [MSG:] I finished the paper 2 hours early and the prof just told me to leave… pretty sure the rest of the class hates me.
- [MSG:] I haven’t seen my roommate for six days. Should I be worried?
- [MSG:] Why call it the walk of shame when we can call it the got laid parade?
- [MSG:] Never drinking again.
- [MSG:] OMFG I JUST WALKED IN ON MY “STRAIGHT” GUY FRIEND FUCKING OUR PROFESSOR IN THE ASS ON HIS DESK OMFG
- [MSG:] Is it unethical to jump his bones when he’s on the rebound?
- [MSG:] Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It’s spring break.
- [MSG:] My mom is better at beer pong than me why
- [MSG:] I fucking hate frats.
- [MSG:] Long story short, I am officially kicked out of the sorority.
- [MSG:] Don’t drink the jungle juice.
- [MSG:] Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-prof drunk last night.
- [MSG:] HE GAVE ME AN F BECAUSE IT WAS ON THREE HOLE PAPER. WHAT THE FUCK. IS THIS LEGAL.
- [MSG:] I was in there making up a test while the prof was grading papers, and I swear I heard him mutter, “They’re just so fucking stupid.” I think he might’ve been crying a little.
- [MSG:] Is Snopes a credible source?
- [MSG:] Who bothers to coordinate clothes in finals week?
- [MSG:] I just faked an asthma attack to get out of an oral report. Hit a new low.
- [MSG:] Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
- [MSG:] SOMEONE JUST CRASHED OUR LECTURE SCREAMING “TROOOOOOLL IN THE DUNGEOOOOOONS!” I’M LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD OMFG
- [MSG:] I want to transfer, but it’s easier to be lazy than happy.
- [MSG:] Oh dear god the prof has a boner.
- [MSG:] Sucking his dick doesn’t count as extra credit!
- [MSG:] The beer staff turned into a beer spear way too quickly.
- [MSG:] I heard another freshman got tossed into the lake last night…
- [MSG:] JFC people take football way too seriously around here.
- [MSG:] It was due 3 months ago but I think I can still get an extension.
- [MSG:] MOM’S NOT HERE TO TELL ME I CAN’T HAVE ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST
- [MSG:] My roommate sexiled me… you got any room in your dorm or am I sleeping in the library again?
- [MSG:] It’s not finals season until you fall asleep studying and wake up to find you’ve drooled all over your $500 textbook.
- [MSG:] I may or may not have given my poetry professor a poem I wrote about my undying lust for them as an assignment. Let’s hope they don’t notice.
- [MSG:] My prof got in a “who’s class is the loudest” contest with the prof next door. We won.
- [MSG:] My professor literally just called me an abortion.
- [MSG:] You know that campus legend about how if you step on a seal in the middle of the quad you have to run and touch that statue in 30 seconds or you have bad luck? I just saw the most serious out of all my profs step on the seal, drop all his stuff, scream “FUCK” and hit the ground running. I love college.
i want a plot where A texts a wrong number, which is where B comes into it. they get on really well, only telling each other first names. a few week/months pass and they decide to meet up. plot twist, B turns out to be A's teacher.
Fake Movie Meme: Hunted
natalie dormer & dane dehaan as twin vampires
sebastian stan & tatiana maslany as twin werewolves
lupita nyong’o & anthony mackie as twin hunters
GIVE IT TO ME FUCKING NOW